Why is it that as parents we always want our child to advance on to the next milestone so quickly. As a new mom I couldn't wait until Olivia slept through the night. Then you can't wait for them to sit up, walk, eat by themselves, speak, get potty trained, etc. Then one day you stop to take a breath and they are 4. Now you want it all back...the sleepless nights, the bottle feeding, the diapers (OK, maybe not the sleepless nights and diapers), the crawling, the toothless grins. But those days are gone and they are replaced with days filled with amazing words, thoughts and ideas that this little person is sharing with you.
My child's sense of humor is that unlike any other child I have met. She gets the corny humor and can make up her own. She loves to be silly and knows what is real and what is a joke. She loves to crack herself up. One of our favorite pastimes is creating made up stories. She chooses the main character and the scene and I weave the story around the ideas she has provided. The story usually involves a positive or negative behavior she has been portraying. The main character usually makes a poor choice and we can then discuss what should have happened. She loves it when she can explain to me why the choice was bad and what the character should have done....."Just like when I made a bad choice, right Mommy" she will say.
One area we have been preparing her for is trying new foods.
She is incredibly picky when it comes to eating.
We decided to start reminding her that when she turns 4 she will have to try new foods each and every day. Six months of reminding and she was all too glad to be sick with a stomach virus on her birthday and she got a few days reprieve on her new diet. She was quick to remind me that she didn't feel well and that she needed to eat lots of crackers and water to help her get better. She could try some new food later on.....not now. I am not sure how young they start training hostage negotiators, but I am waiting for the phone call that the feds have heard tale of her skills and want to fast track her in into their program.
I am still on the fence about homeschooling. I just don't know what they are going to be able to teach her in Kindergarten that she doesn't already know. She still has a year and a half before school and she is already writing her name, sounding out small words, adding and subtracting small numbers, and has the alphabet, colors and numbers down pat...in English and Spanish. I guess there is still plenty of time to make that decision. Until then, we will continue to keep throwing new concepts at her and see what sticks. I can't wait for the day that she pulls out the Venturi effect on someone!
The past two months have proven to be very mentally, physically and emotionally challenging. My disease reached a critical level and I felt as if I literally would not survive each passing minute each and every day of late September/early October. Add to this the fact that Johnathan hurt his back at work and was reduced to little more than bed rest most days after being at work. Toss in a very active almost 4 year old and you have what could have been a recipe for disaster, chaos, and lots and lots of family discourse. To this day, I know it was truly a miracle that things didn't just fall apart. During one of our House to House discussions we talked about how sometimes you have to be 90% in the relationship and sometimes you can only give 10%. This really spoke to me and kept me going these past two months. No matter what I wanted to give, I knew I had to keep giving all I could each and every day. I refused to allow myself to do less.
We were under the solid foundation of prayer from family and friends and we are now all the stronger for it. The Lord has blessed us with better and better health each and every day. You can easily take so much for granted, but we are now exiting those "forests for the trees" and can see just how far we have come. When you have been through the bad times, you really appreciate the good times and we are so glad to be able to recognize an end to some bad times.
It seems another summer has come and gone and life gets rearranged again with the return to Pre-School, extra curricular activities and some much needed alone time for Mommy! The days of summer held lots of fun and lots & lots of sun. Indoors play venues like"Let's Jump" and "Leapin' Lizards" offer air-conditioned exercise and opportunities to play with friends old and new. One of our new favorite things to do is to enjoy an afternoon with Ms Cheryl and her daughter, Gigi. Olivia and Gigi get to play with Gigi's vast array of toys and wear each other out, while Cheryl and I work on the project of the day. We have enjoyed sharing our knowledge with one another. I helped Cheryl refresh her sewing skills (she has an awesome embroidery enabled machine) and she taught me how to make hair bows. The two pictures below are t-shirts and matching bows we made for my niece for her birthday. We also made dresses for the girls and are looking forward to our next project.
We went to the "Meet the Teacher" event at First Baptist Keller where Olivia attends their Mother's Day Out program Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. Olivia was so excited to see all the new toys in her classroom that she did not want to leave. How do you compete with an entire kitchen made from wood scaled down to their size? Once she realized that the other kids were leaving too, she decided she was OK with leaving, but it was a very begrudging decision. Yesterday was her first day back to PreSchool and she could not get rid of me fast enough at drop-off. I almost felt slighted, but realizing the fun she knew she would have made the public snubbing a forgiveable offense. She has never been one of those kids that has to be pulled off of me crying and for that I am greatful.
Last night was the first night of Awana. I helped the T&T group last year and really fell in love with the kids. Their ability to memorize verses will never cease to amaze me. I am back with the T&T group again this year and Olivia gets to join in on the fun in her group, the Cubbies! She loves her teachers and saw many familiar faces in her class. I am really excited to help her with her workbook and help her memorize her verses. We are having lots of fun during our "homework" time. She feels like she is such a big kid now.
Now we enter the "daze" of the school year for our family. Upward Soccer on Saturday mornings, Awanas on Wednesday evening, Sunday School and church Sunday morning and House to House Sunday nights. Leadership meetings, Off Duty police work, college coursework for Johnathan, house cleaning jobs, and the occasional birthday party keep this place buzzing like a hive. With all that is going on in life, we really need to stay focused on God's plan for our lives and not our own and seek His will in all we do.
I accepted Christ in 2001 and since that time I have been waiting for someone to teach me how to be a Godly wife and mother. Guess what? No one has applied for that job. I never got it until just now. Yes, you are sharing in my great epiphany. I don't really know what day to day life looks like in a Christian home. Should we just sit around and read the Bible all day? Should we pray at each meal? What about in public? Is it OK to display crosses in your home or is it in poor taste? I was just caught up in the semantics of it all.
What I need to know is not neatly contained in some How To manual or best selling book. There is no checklist of do's and don'ts I can hang on the fridge to track my growth. I already have everything I need to be exactly what God wants me to be. I have a Bible and I have a heart to want to apply God's will to my life. All of those other things really are choices on what you feel God is leading you to do in your personal walk with Him. Who knew it was so simple? But let there be no mistake....it will not be easy. Today's world, our humanness and Satan continually bombard us with the idea that it is too hard or you aren't worthy or you don't have to really do all that stuff God put in the Bible. I am reminded of that saying, "Believe in something or you'll fall for anything."
What I want for my daughter more than anything is a home filled with love. I want her to know that she doesn't have to be anything but herself to receive our love. I want her to know that even if she tries and fails, we support her in the trying. Her accomplishments will not be compared to anyone else's and her failures are merely learning experiences. I want her to know what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus and how to share her faith with others.
I don't know that I would have come to this realization had it not been for the group of people I call family that makes up our House to House group. These men and women have shared their hearts, their struggles, their trials and tribulations within the safety of our group weekly. I now know how important it is to seek people like this to help you in your walk. People that do not judge you and that truly want to help you be all God wants you to be. And as I sit here crying tears of thankfulness, I am not ashamed....I am blessed.
After a few weeks of subtle coersion, I finally felt comfortable taking Olivia for her 1st official haircut. She has been having a lot of snarls lately and I used this as an opportunity to outline the benefits of a hair trimming. She slowly came around and has said she would be open to having a trim the past few times I have brought up the subject.
Now, it's really my own fault that I have had such a hard time convincing her a haircut is OK. Everytime I comb through her tangles and she pitches a fit; I tell her we can go and get all her hair cut off to look like Daddy's if she can't take having her beautiful princess hair combed...I know, I know...shame on Mommy. Not one of my finer moments, admittedly.
We arrive at CoolCuts 4 Kids to face a 40 minute wait. There was only one woman manning the shop and at least 4 children were ahead of us in line. Luckily, they are prepared for this and have plenty to keep the kiddos busy. Thomas the Train and his miles of tracks were center stage in the play/waiting area. A TV playing a barnyard cartoon played in the background and the walls were adorned with gear puzzles and cute drawings. The seating was comfortable and they were a few magazines for the adults as well as a few books for the kids.
Let's not overlook the toys available for purchase. They really have you cornered on this one. Sure, your child already has a thousand crayons at home, but they have Princess crayons. And yes, you already have plenty of Matchbox cars, but these are miniatures of the cars from Disney's "Cars" movie. What kind of a parent would force their child to have to gaze (at their eye level) longingly at such treasures and leave empty handed? (Insert a visual of me raising my hand and waving it vigorously.)
Finally, Olivia's name as called and we entered the previously forbidden domain of the hair cutting arena. Olivia chose a yellow taxi to sit in during her "beauty treatment." Mrs. Susan loaded Olivia's chosen DVD into the television and away we went. Snip snip....just an inch off the bottom to clean up the ends. The whole ordeal was over in a matter of 5 minutes. We paid for our souvenier "First Haircut" card and for the products recommended for her tangly hair.
On the way to the car I asked her if she had fun and she said, "No, that lady pulled my hair too hard."
It is really hard for me to believe it has been 20 years since I graduated high school. I had high hopes for the reunion and getting to finally meet and speak to the strangers I attended high school with. I was painfully shy growing up and only in the past several years have I attained a level of self-worth that has allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and talk to people...strangers even.
I was excited that Johnathan was also eager to attend the various activities that the reunion committee had planned for us all. I knew that even if the activities were a bust that he and I could make anything fun. That's just how we are. Unfortunately, the shy 17 year old in me came out and I was completely unable to strike up conversation with much of anyone. Sigh.
Olivia had a great time in Nebraska. She had both Johnathan and I available to her almost all day every day and great weather abounded. Everyone we visited with adored her and she ate it up. My dear friend Julie and her 2 young boys watch Olivia during the parents only reunion events. She got to play with boy toys and tried to boss Justin & Caleb around. She admonished them for their messy room and laid down the law in general. Julie had just had knee surgery and was a little glad to see someone light a fire under her boys' backsides so she didn't have to for once. Everyone won....well, maybe Caleb & Justin didn't exactly feel that way, but they were little gentlemen and allowed her to play with them and their toys.
Olivia's only disparity was the lack of love she was getting from the 2 resident felines at the home we were staying at. Miss Sharon and Mr Brian have 2 tuxedo cats and they did not like us....not even a little and were not shy about letting us know their disdain. Mr Mousers and Frisky hissed, growled, lunged and swatted at us at nearly every opportunity. Olivia was so upset. She loves animals and didn't understand why these cats didn't love her like her own KC cat did. Miss Sharon and Mr Brian tried their best to make their boys mind, but it just wasn't going to happen. The cats even turned on them a time or two. As soon as we left, I am sure they had a party.
Today marks a very special occasion.....my 10 year wedding anniversary to Johnathan. I dedicate this day to him and to our past, present and future lives as husband and wife.We have been through so much as a couple. A couple who met on the Internet, that is.
For those of you who don't know my husband all that well, let me take a few moments to tell you about him. He is the kind of Daddy any little girl would love to have. He takes her to the park, they play in her room, they go shopping together, and he is always eager to provide ample hugs, kisses and tickles. She absolutely adores him. I know one day he will have her fluent in Spanish and they will plot behind my back regularly. : ) Now, you have not had your heart melted until you have heard he and Olivia singing "Beautiful Girl" at bedtime. (He adapted John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy."
Close your eyes, Have no fear, The monsters gone, He's on the run and your daddy's here, Beautiful, Beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful Girl, Before you go to sleep, Say a little prayer, Every day in every way, It's getting better and better, Beautiful, Beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful Girl ******************************************************************************** When it comes to having a best friend, I hit the jackpot. We are that annoying couple that can finish each other's sentences. We have little excerpts from movies that we quote and laugh at and sometimes others feel a little left out. We love having fun together. In fact, I have never had more fun in my life than I have had with my husband...he cracks me up! He has helped me to become a very outgoing person. I used to be the kind of girl who would not want to attend events because I didn't know anyone. I'd sit by myself as he mingled and would be bored and look unapproachable. Over years of watching him, I have learned how to talk to people. I am no longer afraid that they will give me a dirty look and walk away. Some people even come up and start talking to me and I no longer panic. He has helped me be a better me.
Being a military couple, we have learned that calendar dates don't mean a thing in the grand scheme of things. As far as we are concerned, Christmas is on December 23rd...or whatever day he was able to get off work. Our anniversary has been celebrated on just about every day in the first week of June. We don't let the little things stop us from being happy. It actually works out quite well. The wait at a nice restaurant on Feb 15th is nothing!
The worst part is this....my husband is very romantic....yes, I said worst part. I am not one of those girls that loves getting sappy cards and notes or flowers. It really is quite a waste of a perfectly great talent I must admit. This will be more completely illustrated when I post the blog detailing my 4 year wedding anniversary surprise that he planned and executed without me knowing. You will be impressed.
Through all the good times and the very few hard times, I can honestly say that I am so very blessed. My husband is my protector...just check his holster! : ) Although it is hard being the wife of a police officer and constantly having dinner plans ruined or cut short; I can say that I am so very proud of all he has accomplished. He is a hard working, honest man with exceptional integrity, faith and is a great judge of character. He has had to deal with a lot during our marriage. I have been in poor health throughout most of our time together in one way or another. When my hair started getting really thin and I just didn't know what to do; it was his idea for me to just shave it all off. I was so worried he wouldn't find me attractive anymore, but he told me I would always be beautiful to him.
I love you, Johnathan! Happy Anniversary and I look forward to many more years of love, laughs and inside jokes.
How We Met I got a medical discharge from the US Navy in February 1997. I moved back to the town where I attended and graduated high school, Lincoln, NE. I moved in with one of my best friends, Julie. We were both 2 single gals loving life and looking to the future. Julie was a CNA and I was working at a grocery store bakery pulling the 12am to 9am shift. Someone has to have those doughnuts and bagels ready at 5am when the folks start rolling in! I had been a medical lab tech in the Navy, but could not do that job in the civilian world. I did not have a certification required and the light from the microscope had begun triggering my migraines. The only thing else I knew was food service.
Before going in to work, I would get on the computer and try to find some other military folks to chat with. After having a lifestyle for 7 years it is hard to leave it without a sense of loss. I was looking to reconnect with some of those folks, perhaps finding a like minded person nearby. It was in a chat room that I met "DaHickster." He was giving some guy grief and it was quite amusing to read. The speed at which he typed was uncanny. The positively perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling peaked my interest immediately. Who was this guy? He seemed great so far. Especially for me....someone who used to return notes friends passed to me that has misspellings and corrections needed. I always has a red pencil at the ready!
We struck up a conversation that quickly led to the usual...what do you look like. This is where most folks lied...I did not. Evidently, he was refreshed to find that one woman out there in cyberspace that wasn't a petite blond with green eyes...imagine that! We soon got into more interest related questions and that fateful question I asked........Do you enjoy killing Bambi? Now, don't get me wrong. I am not against hunting, but I didn't want to get involved with someone who made it a large part of their lifestyle. Being from Nebraska, I didn't want to have one of those houses where you might come home to see a deer being bled out in a tree in our front yard. His careful response was , "Danger Will Robinson!" I cracked up! All that and a great sense of humor. We decided to exchange pictures. Oddly enough, we both had the same thought....send the worst photo possible to see if the interest is still there. When his photo arrived Julie took one look and wrinkled up her nose. It was a photocopy of a hometown newspaper article talking about how a local guy had lost a bunch of weight to join the Corps and worked to keep it off . It had a pretty bad before picture and the after photo had him in his BCG's. That is military talk for Birth Control glasses. They make anyone so ugly that no other form of birth control is required. She responded with something like, "Not much of a looker is he? You still gonna chat with him?" I said I would, I mean a girl can never have too many friends...especially a Marine. I don't recall what his thoughts were in regards to my photo, but I would imagine it was as benign as mine. Feel free to add your 2 cents worth, hon. Now, the second photo....there's where we each felt we hit the proverbial lottery. His photo was of him in his uniform, without the BCGs, but with these gorgeous twinkling baby blue eyes and a smile to die for. Now, that's a picture a girl puts by her bedside table to dream about! Hubba hubba! I can say that his reaction to my second photo was as positive.
Over the next 4 months we exchanged a gazillion internet chats and several thousands of dollars worth of long distance...yes I did say thousands. (He was stationed in Cuba with the Marines at the time and it was mega expensive to talk on the phone to Cuba back then. I think my average phone bill was about $500-$600 and he spent a similar amount calling me.) All that talking really made us come to the same solution. We need to meet in person.
He arrived at the airport in late May and he was soo cute. He looked just like his photo and as he had described himself...5'10" - a blond teddy bear with muscles. Totally NOT my type. : ) I like the tall, dark and brooding types. The kind of guys that looked a little dangerous. Pretty much the complete opposite of Johnathan. We had a great time talking and getting to know one another and we each realized that what we had was far more than just a casual interest developing. I was "the one" and he was "the one."
5 days pass since we met face to face. Johnathan decides we need to have photos taken together to commemorate our time together. Seems like a harmless bit of fun, so I agree. And while we are all dressed up he thinks we should go out to dinner...maybe Olive Garden. Again, rational thinking. Anyone who knows me knows I am all about being rational. : ) We get to OG and evidently I mess up his well laid plans by not ordering wine with dinner. I had to work and wine makes me sleepy, so I opt out. Soon after our order is placed and my Diet Coke arrives, I am greeted by flowers that wait staff has been asked to bring me with my wine...see the problem....no wine...when do we bring the flowers? I accept the flowers and turn to place them on the table and when I look up, Johnathan is in the middle of the aisle of the middle of Olive Garden on one knee...what the...! Yup, you guessed it. He was proposing.....in the swirl of delight and unexpected madness of the moment I accepted and the ring ended up on my hand, but I don't actually recall the moment. I think I actually muttered, "Uh-huh" to the proposal and just thrust forth the appropriate hand. Well, the whole place clapped and cheered and that is why we now celebrate our anniversary at OG.
Johnathan had to return to Cuba to finish out his tour, but he moved to Nebraska on October 31, 2007. We were married the following June on D-Day near his hometown outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. We honeymooned at Kings Island, a local amusement park. I think it should have been a sign of things to come in our lives and God's special sense of humor when we showed up for a day of fun to find that it was "Gay Day" at the park. Well, we were as jolly as we could be and Johnathan was certainly glad to be "spoken for."
Now, you can well imagine how long this post would be if I illustrated our last 10 years that same way I did our meeting and engagement, so I'll leave that to another post on another day....we all have lives to get back to!
We buy a little fixer house in Lincoln and learn that I am pretty good at mudding drywall and that we know nothing about plumbing or getting rid of carpenter ants
Johnathan gets a job in the local prison and comes home one day to find I have ripped out all the green shag carpeting in the house. We had discussed it, but he didn't think I meant I wanted to do it thatvery day. We lived on plywood subflooring for many months.
6 kids sounds good, so we get the ball rolling only to suffer a very early term miscarriage.
We discuss and determine that we hate winter and the cold..let's move someplace warm! We decided it would be Texas and Johnathan got a second job and we picked a date to move. No, we had no jobs..we were just packing up and going.
July 2000 - we arrive just in time to experience record heat in Irving, TX. Whoa..we were not prepared for this!
I graduate from DBU and quit smoking! July 3rd, 2001 to be exact. Johnathan realizes he hates the office environment and re-evaluates his career path. I am at home recovering from my 2nd miscarriage when the news begins to show the twin towers exploding. Talk about getting some perspective!
We buy a house in Watauga, TX and lose our 3rd pregnancy.
We start attending Mt Gilead church and I accept Christ and am baptized by Pastor Nathan Tucker.
We each have gastric bypass surgery and lose close to half our original body weight.
Johnathan decides he wants to be a police officer and attends the police academy. I get hired as a Contract Analyst for Sabre.
As a surprise 4 year wedding anniversary present to me, Johnathan has us renew our vows and we are re-hitched Texas style by Pastor Nathan Tucker. (More on this whole event in a later post....it's quite impressive)
Johnathan is voted "Rookie of the Year" at Keller PD
We lose our 4th and 5th pregnancies.
Johnathan really misses the military life...as do I. He decides to join the Army National Guard. They never leave the state, you know, so it should be a great way to dip our toes back into that lifestyle.
After months of tinkering, a fertility clinic finally figures out the right combination/timing of meds I need to get pregnant....yeah! April 2004 marks the month where we make it past the first trimester for the first time.
While on vacation to Michigan for my half brother's high school graduation, we hear that Johnathan's guard unit is being sent to Iraq. I am 5 months pregnant. He leaves for training in Ft Hood soon after we get back into town.
The "regular" visits back home during training end up being very few and far between. I am getting a taste of what being a single parent would be like and it stinks. After all, I don't know anything about kids...or babies for that matter. What am I going to do?
November 9, 2004 - The day I am induced. Johnathan gets to be home for a few days. We are so excited to have this baby that the delivery room is filled with family and friends....literally. The doctor thinks bleachers should have been ordered and asks if the lost pizza guy in the hallway is welcome to join our "group." Ha Ha.
The R&R days pass far too quickly and we wait for the next R&R visits near Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I decide to have a going away party/prayer time for Johnathan and ask the elder pastoring in Nathan's absence to announce the event in church. He responds, "I'm sorry, but that's not church business." Interesting. If a man, leaving his family to go fight in war, risking his life isn't church business I don't know what is.
Jan 1, 2005 - Deployment Ceremony To this day I start crying just remembering Johnathan kissing Olivia's forehead and having to walk away for a year. Honor, sadness, fear, loneliness and sense of duty are the mixed bag of emotions I draw from.
Over the year Johnathan is gone I realize what a great blessing our church family has become. The Holt family dutifully cared for our yard. Friends and neighbors rallied to help me carry in groceries and catch up on housework. I knew we were loved during this time period.
One Sunday, Pastor Nathan stood up and basically left the church. He was being asked to leave and would be starting a church plant elsewhere. I had no idea what to do. people were getting up and following him. What would Johnathan want me to do? I followed my heart and left, too. I took up watching the babies at the new "church" for the first year. I just really had a hard time leaving Olivia. I felt Johnathan's presence when I was with her...they are practically clones of one another come to find out!
I had a digital camera and tried my best to take photos of Olivia every day to e-mail to Johnathan. He and I were even able to chat once in awhile via webcam. My family jokes that Olivia would be more documented than the Kennedys...serious foreshadowing : )
The year passes and I do not shrivel up and die like I thought I would. See, miracles do still happen! Olivia takes right to Daddy and to this day has no clue he was ever gone. God works in mysterious ways.
Reintegration into family life takes some time. PTSD is a serious affliction most guys end up facing when returning from that kind of situation. We avoid places like the mall and really anywhere that a large crowd gathers and loud noises occur. For the first time, I see my husband as tormented and broken and it pains me to know I can do nothing to help.
Life gets back to normal soon and we decide we want to move to Keller. Now that we are not having 6 children, we won't be needing this large of a house. We decide to downsize and I begin to have the urge to be a stay at home mom. This may seem perfectly normal, but I am not one of those women. I have a college degree...I have a good paying job....up until I had Olivia I didn't even like kids! This desire really confused me, but then it wasn't part of my master plan.
We find a smaller house and somehow, things work out to where we can afford for me to quit my job. OK, how did something so seemingly impossible all of a sudden become so possible? May 2007 I leave Sabre and don't look back. I am one year shy of my 6 year mark there.
May 2008 - I find out I have at least one serious disease and am basically as healthy now as I will ever be. Things will only get progressively worse. We are going to work at making sure that progression is as slow as possible, though. It sure is a good thing (or is it a God thing) I no longer have to worry about a corporate job and can stay at home and focus on myself and my family.
Today was a perfect example of why I quit my job to stay at home with Olivia. I packed a lunch and we met Johnathan at the park for a picnic. When we got to the park there were a lot of other kids running around so eating was the last thing on Olivia's mind. Fair enough. My homemade PB&J and apple wedges just can't compare to an a bunch of active playmates with cool toys. I don't even try to compete on that level. It's like trying to go head to head with Kristi Yamaguchi on an episode of "Dancing with the Stars"....suicide.
Johnathan and I ate while she played with all of her "new best friends." Slowly these friends left and she eventually decided that eating might be an acceptable idea. She took a few small nibbles of bread, ate a couple of apple wedges and very begrudgingly shared with me her favorite new treat of "Bacheetos." Oops, she realizes she has been sitting still for a whole 3 minutes....time to play again.
She makes the rounds of all the moms with baby strollers. "What's your baby's name? Is it a boy or a girl? What is she eating/doing/saying?" She has to get the whole story from each mom. They engage her in conversation only to have her make herself at home on their bench and delve into a long conversation about the state of the world or the latest happenings in her life that she feels they need to know. I go over and explain to her that these moms are not interested in hanging out with her and that she needs to go and play with some of the other kids. The moms always say how polite she is and how well she speaks for her age...which of course, Olivia has already told them was 3 and that she has a cat named KC that likes to sleep on her tummy.
An hour passes and the crowd thins down even more and the final 3 are left playing in the sandbox. It appears a potty break is in order and I take that opportunity to lead her back to the car with the promise of a lollipop Daddy brought for her. The likelihood of her falling asleep on the way home is a long shot these days, but I am happy to know she got her fresh air and exercise for the morning and we made some good memories. That is all the paycheck I need.
Yesterday marked Olivia's last day of her very first Mother's Day Out program. She came home laden with laminated hand prints, craft items, her emergency change of clothes, and a great binder commemorating her time with the 1st Baptist Ladybug class of 2007-2008.
When Johnathan and I picked her up at noon, the other mothers were milling around, gathering their child's items and a few were quietly crying. I am not really one of those kinds of women who cry. To be quite honest, Johnathan will shed a tear over sentimental things more quickly than I. For a gun toting, Harley riding man that is quite an escape from what one might expect, but he's really quite tender hearted. Sorry, Hon. I had to "Out" you.
We left the school building and I began to flip through the laminated book. Each page outlined a letter of the alphabet and many had a photo of Olivia doing different activities at school. Again, very cute but not anything to cry over....until that fateful page containing the letter "l." L stands for "Letters from your teachers." [Now, both Mrs. Amie and Mrs. Shiloh are very near and dear to Olivia's heart. I was always afraid she would not want to leave with me at the end of the day and they would think I was this horrible mom. Luckily, that never happened. (Thank you,Baby!) Anyway, upon reading the sweet little notes they wrote to Olivia I did have some tears well up. Had I not been in public, I probably would have sobbed uncontrollably.
Just seeing the difference between how she looked when she got into the class this January and how she looks now amazes me. She is turning from a little toddler into a little lady. Well I am using the term lady with caution. She has entered a very annoying nose picking phase. : ) Johnathan and I heard this song on KLTY the other day and it really illustrates just how quickly they grow up and how precious each minute is in their life. All I know is that I will no longer stifle my tears. Life is good and precious and should be shared......let them stare~
Why is it that kids hate to take naps? I do so love to nestle under my covers and just sleep an afternoon away. Sure, I feel guilty about everything I didn't get done or that blog I never got to post, but what sweet bliss! Olivia has fought a good fight today...a noble fight. She sang to herself, she had to go potty 3 times in 20 minutes...the human bladder is amazing, isn't it?! And now, only after trying diligently to stay awake for an hour has she finally fallen asleep.
My kitchen floor is now sparkling clean and my house is well on its way to being suitable for company. Well, let's not be too hasty. You know those people that have a clean and orderly house at all times. I was raised in that kind of house and contributed greatly to its clean state. Some people are just able to suck it up, get it done and keep on top of things. Iam not one of those people, but I am lucky enough to have a best friend who is...and she's a willing helper, bless her massive heart of gold and total OCD. She has been here this afternoon and done her best in an hour and a half to help me get things back on track. I was a messy kid, a messy adolescent and a messy adult. The hard part is that I am married to one as well and we have produced yet another messy.
Now, let's not jump to conclusions and think I don't mind the mess or don't care about the mess. It eats away at my very core and I am completely and totally ashamed of the state of my home at most times. I don't invite people over. If people drop by, I am apologetic and I scurry about trying to pick up the dirty socks, toys, wigs and empty soda cans. I hate that I can't do better. I'm sure there is some deep, dark psychological reason for this, but who has time for all that therapy? I just have to keep on keeping on and know that those who love me will look past my clutter. : )
Let me begin this blog by saying I am a procrastinator. I put my profile on this site at least 2 months ago and am finally getting around to my first post. Perhaps I feel that nothing of much interest ever really happens under our roof or maybe I just don't have an extra 5 minutes to document any of it. Nah...neither of those excuses holds up.
I think what actually triggered me to place my first post was thinking of my daughter and wanting her to know just how much she has changed my life when she is old enough to read and understand what I will be writing. Sure, I could show her photo albums and recount stories from her childhood, but I feel this blog will better show her, on a more regular basis over the years, just how loved she is and how blessed we feel to have her in our lives.
Olivia was a long time in the making, so to speak. Johnathan and I were married in 1998 and we decided we wanted 6 children...at least. We suffered miscarriage after miscarriage for numerous medical reasons. 5 total. I can honestly say that I have more fear of an ultrasound machine than I do of poisonous snakes. They have literally killed me inside on numerous occasions. To find that yes, there is a heartbeat at 6 weeks only to return 2 weeks later to the lack of a heartbeat. Over and over again.
When the genius folks at the Center for Assisted Reproduction finally found the perfect fertility "concoction" for all that ailed my body we were still considered high risk. Every time I had to have an ultrasound I replayed seeing and hearing those words and seeing that look on the doctor's face. But week after week, month after month, she grew and grew and developed perfectly. I had to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor every week for the last several months to ensure that no danger was lurking. We have loads of ultrasound pictures of Olivia at each week of her development...someplace. Please refer back to sentence one of this blog. In the end, we did have 6 children, but only 1 is living with us on this Earth.
It is to that one child that I dedicate this blog. My sweet baby girl. My Olivia.
NOVEMBER 9TH, 2004 _________________FEBRUARY 20TH, 2008
My child's sense of humor is that unlike any other child I have met. She gets the corny humor and can make up her own. She loves 
to be silly and knows what is real and what is a joke. She loves to crack herself up. One of our favorite pastimes is creating made up stories. She chooses the main character and the scene and I weave the story around the ideas she has provided. The story usually involves a positive or negative behavior she has been portraying. The main character usually makes a poor choice and we can then discuss what should have happened. She loves it when she can explain to me why the choice was bad and what the character should have done....."Just like when I made a bad choice, right Mommy" she will say.
One area we have been preparing her for is trying new foods. 
birthday and she got a few days reprieve on her new diet. She was quick to remind me that she didn't feel well and that she needed to eat lots of crackers and water to help her get better. She could try some new food later on.....not now. I am not sure how young they start training hostage negotiators, but I am waiting for the phone call that the feds have heard tale of her skills and want to fast track her in into their program.
